if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Of course I have a pirate flag
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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