She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
