i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
