How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
