he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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