I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
