so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
