I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
