Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
tell me about the fingering
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