You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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