did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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