just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
