If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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