she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
