And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
His hands were made for my vagina.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
