I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
