Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
