He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
