So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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