I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
