First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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