Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
