I'm going to jail i love you
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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