isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
