Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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