Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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