I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
should my penis look like a turkey
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
