i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
