Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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