For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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