i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
