He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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