ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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