Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize
