Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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