I smell stomach acid.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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