Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
