Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
