Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
