I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
