i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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