Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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