you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
