if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
