you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
