i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
