Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
