i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
