i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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