we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
