i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
