The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
