I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
