I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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