I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
