I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize