My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize