what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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