you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
