omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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