Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
